Miserable Retail Slave

by Abe

 There was once a hallowed tradition I honored long ago. It involved pre game drinking at my apartment before karaoke night on Tuesdays/Wednesdays and Guitar Hero 1 and 2. This allowed me to save money and enter karaoke night with a brazen sense of showmanship. Walking into the bar with beer on my breath and the low lights scrolling toward me like the colored note charts of those games; it was just like another gig to me, just another time to shine. 

Two players, two plastic guitars…those were the days. On the other side of the cash register there was big money to be made in music vide games. Soon the simplicity of cutting heads Crossroads-style via plastic guitar controllers was overshadowed by the alluring cooperation of Rock Band. Now it was your duty to find two guitarists, a drummer and a singer to drive that score through the roof. Forget karaoke night, Rock Band is bringing back the house party because everyone wants a turn on those drums. The game that gave my Playstation 2 hours and hours of playability also spawned a competitor series that made me go next generation and let that boxy old PS2 collect dust. 

By the time I was able to afford my PS3, Rock Band 2 was already on retailer’s shelves and that is where I started my love/hate relationship with the game. At this time I was living in a place where there were no neighbors above or below and there was nothing but rocking out. I was blessed with band mates who either too scared of the drums, or expert level on guitar which allowed me to helm the plastic percussion like it was my job. In bittersweet fashion after being laid off from my real job it may as well have been my career. 

"On Tour" February 2009

In true Behind the Music fashion this high score drummer fell to various life changes and me and my video games found ourselves crammed into a bedroom above my dad’s garage. This was great news for not keeping anyone awake, horrible news for the rest of the band. As the days went on my instruments were hidden away and soon buried under laundry. My fake plastic drums would peek out from a bed sheet and taunt me for being washed up and lonely. It was right, and soon I found solace in NCAA football and 40 oz Miller Lites. 

Abe Alguire cira February 2010 (artist's rendering)

Like any has been rocker things have been looking up and there is always one or two opportunities for redemption. Although I am now in an apartment with neighbors all around me like the tiny fake fans I used to have the band equipment is still hidden away in that bedroom above that garage. The Rock Band world still goes on. Since I played the game last there has been new songs released for purchase each week and even the introduction of the Rock Band Network which allows publishers to introduce even more DLC. As Journey said once a long

time ago, and once too many on recent jukebox plays, the wheel in the sky keeps on turning. 

Rock Band 3 is on the horizon and with it comes the familiar set up plus the addition of three part vocal harmonies, and a keyboard like controller. There is an introduction of an all new Pro mode of play. According to the game’s website is supposed to transcend the normal mode of play and “empower the players to develop actual musical skills through the fun of Rock Band Pro game play.” When I first read this I felt excitement.

This was a music game wet dream.  Then I felt stupid because no matter what Harmonix came up with next I wasn’t 24 anymore. I didn’t have the money to spend on these stupid plastic instruments and I can’t invite people over to play music games because I will be evicted. I hope someone enjoys Rock Band 3 like I enjoyed Guitar Hero 1 and 2 and I hope they appreciate the times when they are all able to get together as a band and not worry about anything before they hit the bar for some karaoke. Any one up for some NCAA?

-Abe Alguire