Miserable Retail Slave

by The Miserable Retail Slave staff

This is the feature where the MRS staff review the newest songs to hit the airwaves, internet, or TV screens. As always, our opinions are the most important you'll ever hear, so what we say is the absolute truth.

Korn, 'Oildale'

The newest single from the nu-metal outfits' latest album. 

Tommy Goodtimes:

Wow, Korn made a song that actually isn't SUPER annoying. Wait, don't get me wrong, I definitely do not like this song, but I have to say if I had to listen to a Korn song, I would chose this one. Theres no weird chanting and it seems like Jonathon Davis's voice is improving with age. I think one thing that makes this song slightly aggravating to listen to is the drums. They just have that jungle beat thing that the guitar follows too. If the music was a little different I'd actually consider giving this song a second listen. Sorry, Korn, Tommy Thompson is still not a fan. Keep trying though boys. 5 out of 10

RFP:

Funny you should mention that "jungle beat thing that the guitar follows." It was actually pretty cool back in 1996 when that same drum beat/guitar riff combo was released in Marilyn Manson's "The Beautiful People." Listen to "Oildale" again (if you can stand to) and then listen to Manson.

Is rock music so lacking in originality these days that bands are recycling riffs from 14 years ago (!) in the hopes that the reckless drinking and relentless headbanging of metalheads have completely killed the brain cells containing memories of the original song's existence?

Xena:

I am not sure how I felt about it... To be honest, It is not at all what I expected from Korn. They should really just stick to what they do well, like their older “Freak on a Leash” stuff. Also, is it just me or is Jonathan Davis a mouth breather and it is very apparent in this song?

Caroline Chocolate Drops, 'Hit 'Em Up Style' (Blu Cantrell cover)

Bluegrass meets folk meets hip-hop meets indie rock. 

Tommy Goodtimes:

Wait...? What the..Carolina Chocolate Drops? Change your name, or better yet, don't even have a name. If this is the favorite in your guys's list choice of band names, I don't want to hear the other ones. That being said, I like this. I've never liked the original, but I like the soul. I've always been a sucker for a soulfull voice. I like the hipster-folk rock thing they have going on with this. The lyrics suck but that's because they've always sucked. Bad choice of a cover but I can't get over that voice. 7.5 out of 10

RFP:

Her voice is amazing, for sure. It makes me want to check out the rest of their stuff. Hearing this song made me remember who Blu Cantrell was, but then I forgot about her just as quickly because "Hit 'Em Up Style" is their song now.

Xena:

First, The name “Carolina Chocolate Drops” sounds like some weird dirty thing that a sexual deviant would pay to see in a porn. But, other than that I really liked it. The instrumentation was a weird cross between bluegrass and “Fiddler on the Roof”, but it worked for me. Now this next comment will probably get some angry remarks from my fellow bloggers, but the one thing I really didn't like was that the singer had the exact same timbre to her voice as Blu Cantrell. I think that when you re-make a song the vocals need to be re-vamped or it will seem kind of bland. Though I did give her props for deviating from the melody and throwing in some growly embellishments at the end. 

Lil' Wayne ft. Nikki Minaj, "Knockout"

A cut from Wayne's awful "rock" album in a video rushed to production before Weezy's jail time began.

Tommy Goodtimes:

 I've never been a fan of Lil' Wayne, but I am fan of how interesting it is that people find him amazing. I do like the music for this song, although it's a simple pop rock thing that bands have been doing since the grunge era. "Once you go black you never go back". That's a genius line though and Wayne should be applauded for coming up with it.

2 out of 10 

RFP:

Now you know what Johnny 5 from "Short Circuit" would sound like, should he ever decide to drop a rap album. How about that, a reference that no one under the age of 25 will get.

I think you're right about this being a simple pop rock song. It reminds me of something that blink-182 would write. That got me thinking of what Tom DeLonge would sound like using autotune. My guess would be that his voice would sound like it was going to explode from pitch correction, just like Wayne's. 

BTW, I think I developed a crush on Nikki Minaj during the course of this video. Seriously. Call me.

Seriously.

Xena:

The song is going to be a hit. You know why? It was painfully simple and it was running through my head the moment that the video stopped. That doesn't mean that I liked it, but I am sure that I will find myself singing along with it in the car. That and the Nikki Chicka was pretty awesome for being nothing at all. 

RFP:

So, you have a crush on Nikki now too? That's so hot.