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Mike Knowles, High School Track Coach,Grade-A Douche
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by Beerwad
Late last month in Pasadena, California a wild thing happened. A girl made a do or die pole vault to capture the school's first league championship. Or did she?
After clearing the bar, opposing coach Mike Knowles was yelling at an official and gesturing towards his wrist. The girl was wearing a thin, colorful string bracelet. And just as quickly as she had cleared the bar and won the championship, she was disqualified and her team lost.
Since this event on April 29, Mike Knowles has taken quite a beating in the press. But I feel this is the kind of guy that deserves a few extra kicks while we have him down. Besides, you haven't had a brow beating until you get one from Beerwad!
"This is my 30th year coaching track. I know a lot of rules and regulations" said Knowles days later.
Did you know the human head weighs 8 pounds, Mike Knowles?
"It's unfortunate, that's all I can say. It's unfortunate for the young lady. But you've got to teach the kids that rules are rules."
That's right. You were teaching her a valuable life lesson. I believe you. Turd biter.
The girl's own coach, P.J. Hernandez, was quoted as saying "Mike Knowles was down by the pole vault pit, kind of waiting and sitting there, keeping an eye on our girl, waiting for her to make the attempt and make the call. I'm upset that he wanted to win so badly that he would do it in that way."
Knowles denies lying in wait.
Bull huckey! What a load of bull spit! Who does this guy think he's fooling!? I swear to Jesus that if i had a time machine, I would use it to go back in time and kill Mike Knowles' mother!
I take offense to the suggestion that this was done to teach. Mike Knowles is a real life Bud Kilmer (Varsity Blues, for those who need a foot note). The only thing this pillow biter taught these kids is how to be a petty, whining, low charactor, underhanded, cheating, manipulative, sissy boy, yellow bellied, burgleflickle.
And i can say these things because at MRS, it's my job to set a bad example. It's Mike Knowles' job to set a good example.
The definition of jewelry: objects of precious metal often set with jems, worn for personal adornment.
It's not my intention to debate wether or not a friendship bracelet constitutes jewelry. But does it?
I really don't give a cuss if it does or doesn't. She could have been wearing a diamond tiarra and Mr. Ts necklaces for all I care. It wasn't a magic bracelet that gave her super powers. It wasn't lighter than air. She didn't clear the bar in a hot air balloon. Jesus jumped up Christ, man.
I hope you're really proud, Mike Knowles. You sir, are a champion. I wouldn't get too close to that girl at next year's conference championship track meet. She might take that pole and make an eight foot Mike-Knowles-cicle out of you. And I might laugh my darned fool head off.
-Beerwad
Categories: Beerwad
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4 Comments
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Tic Tac
03:16 PM on May 17, 2010
This coach is a tool bag!! What a horrible example of a grown citizen. A role model?! Really.
Its just wrong.
Its just wrong.
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Tic Tac
03:16 PM on May 17, 2010
This coach is a tool bag!! What a horrible example of a grown citizen. A role model?! Really.
Its just wrong.
Its just wrong.
Wow, just.... wow.
If that were MY kid, Mike Knowles would have been told twice!
(Two black eyes for those who need a footnote)
If that were MY kid, Mike Knowles would have been told twice!
(Two black eyes for those who need a footnote)
lying in wait for sure. He just happened to see this 'jewelry' as she was making the winning vault? Sure thing, lint licker.
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