Secret Love Children

Posted by Miserable Retail Slave on March 30, 2010 at 8:37 PM
by Beerwad

This is an expose on secret pop culture love children.  It started out as a simple list of overrated celebrity dames.  But when i dug a little deeper, I found the dirt on all these broads.  

The following is a list of ugly folks passing for hot and their true linneage.  Be sure when you make your list of five fantasy fornications, you leave off the Nasty Nine!

In no particular order:

1. Christina Ricci

lovechild of: Morticia Adams and Steve Buscemi


2. Kat Von D

lovechild of: Travis Barker and Snookie

3. Kate Winslet

lovechild of: Madonna and Prince Charles

4. Natasha Bedingfield

lovechild of: Keith Urban and Minnie Driver

5. Maria Sharipova

lovechild of: Shelley Long and Martina Navratilova

6. Erin Andrews:

lovechild of: Brent Musburger and Tipper Gore

7. Angelina Jolie

lovechild of: Steven Tyler and Mateen Cleaves

8. Rihana

lovechild of: Pink and Adam Lambert

9. Taylor Swift

lovechild of: Faith Hill and a poodle


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Reply RFP
12:47 PM on March 31, 2010 
Hmmm. I would probably nail a few of the celebs on your nasty nine. Angelina Jolie, of course. Kat Von D and Sharapova. Oh and Erin Andrews dad, Brent Musberger. But it would be a total hate fuck.
Reply Ro-Ads
1:23 PM on March 31, 2010 
my mind is beyond blown. hail, to you, beerwad, for putting light on the conspiracy!
Reply RFP
1:37 PM on March 31, 2010 
My personal fave is Rihana's secret parents. That's so spot on, it's crazy.
Reply Tic Tac
4:34 PM on March 31, 2010 
haha!! I like the Riahna one. And Snooki scares the poop outta me!!! Let's hope Snookie and Riahna never spawn off a "child"
Reply beerwad
6:06 PM on March 31, 2010 
it would have been 10 but i forgot the one that inspired the list. pink.
Reply TommyGoodTimes
10:53 PM on April 15, 2010 
These are all great. Bravo, sir Wad..Although it was a hard choice I think my favorite was Cristina Ricci..Morticia and Donny from the Big Lebowski,,..what an odd couple