Miserable Retail Slave

by Xena

While I love movies, I have to say that I really don't enjoy horror movies, especially those in the style of “Saw”. All of that unnecessary and realistic human suffering just makes me kind of uncomfortable. I never really watched the “Nightmare on Elm Street”or “Friday the 13th” series either, again- they made me a bit squeamish. I have never understood the urge to make yourself “scared” or “freaked out” about a movie. I am married with a 3 years old, so I really don't need anything else to disrupt my sleep.

Now, with all that said, there is one genre of horror that I love. It is both realistic and far-fetched, gory and glorious, and normally an homage to the survival nature of the human race: The Zombie movie. Now, I don't consider myself an expert on this genre, but I know that I have watched every mainstream zombie flick ever made, and a few that some of you have probably never even heard of. So, here it is... Xena's top 6 Zombie movies of all time- in a very specific order.

#6- Dawn of the Dead (2004)

I credit this movie with the reprise of the serious look at zombies. The 1980's and 90's were littered with crap trying to pass for a legitimate flick, and this movie took it to the next level. Trapped in a shopping mall, several people (including Ving Rhames and Mekhi Pheifer) fight for their lives against hordes of the undead. While this movie is great, it originally didn't make my list, but I had one angry Mr. Xena on my hands, so I had to make it a top 6 instead of my standard 5.

#5- Night of the Living Dead ( 1968 )

This is the first look at the “undead”, from the eyes of George Romero (who is the undisputed king of zombie). The movie itself wasn't very clever, but it sparked something great. There is a 1990 remake that isn't too shabby, but to truly call yourself a zombie movie fan, you need to watch the original.

#4- 28 Days Later (2002)

They are never actually called “zombies” during the movie, but the world is littered with people infected by a virus that makes them ravenous and hungry for human flesh. So, What else would they really be classified as? I really like this movie because it changed things up from the norm a little but, really focusing on the lengths people will truly go to in a survival situation. The sequel “28 Weeks Later” is total crap.

#3- Diary of the Dead (2007)

Another George Romero movie, and honestly, one of his best. A film student is shooting his final project in the woods, and what starts as a fictional horror movie quickly becomes real. The students have no clue what is happening, only banded together by chance, and they fight for their life, all the while filming things as they happen. It is really amazing, with a distinct mix of “The Blair Witch Project” and “Night of the Living Dead”. A lesser known movie, but one very much worth the while.

#2- Shaun of the Dead (2004)

A humorous look at the zombie, and it is set in England- which makes it even funnier. Simon Pegg and Nick Frost are the perfect zombie killing duo as Shaun and Ed; throw in some obnoxious people and a pub called “The Winchester” and here you have it- the recipe for awesomeness. They even went a little farther and showed what happened to the world after “Z-day”. This one almost had the #1 spot, but in the end, it was...

#1- Zombieland (2009)

Again, we see the funnier side of the Zombie Apocalypse. Rules to survival pop up all over the screen, and we are blessed with the “Zombie kill of the week”. This movie really had some of the best zombie killing sequences of all of the previous, and a little bit of a love story, a great “Ghostbusters” re-enactment, and the quest for a cream-filled sponge cake. Good times.

There you have it- Discuss. Tell me how wrong I am... But I am pretty firm in my choices, so I doubt I will be swayed.

-Xena