|Posted by Miserable Retail Slave on January 6, 2010 at 8:54 PM|
The phone rings and you feel your breath snag inside your throat, caught on the thorny brambles of nervousness, insecurity and disbelief.
You blame it on the alcohol and the party you had went to the night before. If you had one beer less, you would have never tried. People just don’t take chances like that. Well, maybe people do, but you don’t. Not usually.
You’re trying something different this year. Doing the opposite of what you would normally do. You get home from the bar that night with all the courage that an artificial backbone made of Bud Light and Captain Morgan can provide.
You don’t think about the past six months. How you spent countless hours thinking about all the possible ways this could go wrong.
You take a shot.
Four days later, the phone is ringing and you finally know what the phrase “a lump in his throat” means.
You blame those social networking sites for making it so easy to find the faded ghosts from your past.
You blame your nervousness on the lack of alcohol in your system. You curse yourself for not thinking about having a few drinks after work.
You answer the phone and you stutter and you sound like you’re out of breath and you’re saying stupid things like “cool” and “awesome”. You’re glad you went into the other room so that your friends can’t see how your hand wouldn't stop fucking shaking as you make plans to see each other the next day,
The next day!
The next day, you sit in the bar and wait. You never, EVER thought this would happen. That night, years ago, holds an almost mythic status in your mind. You have replayed that night in your head so many times. You certainly didn’t realize it then and you won’t realize it for months after this meeting, but those few hours back then were enough to change you forever.
She walks in and, just like back then, you cannot believe that someone so beautiful exists in real life. The night progresses and you’re excited to discover that the person you had built up in your mind deserves that pedestal you have put them on. You’re glad that image you had held in your mind was a true representation and not some fantasy creation that you misremembered.
The months go by. There are highs and lows. You struggle to get a foothold. It’s not the fault of either of you. There are circumstances. There are hardships. There is life.
Finally, something that seems so stupid becomes a wedge. There are good days and bad days. You know that life goes on whether you want it to or not. If nothing else, you are grateful for a chance at something you never should have had a chance.
But still you wonder. Still you wish. Still you hope. You have faith. You wonder if that’s enough.
The one thing that you know…the one thing that I know is that this life is long and as you travel down the road of life, you never know when you will come across an old friend again.