Lady Gaga

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One Of These Things is Not Like the Other: David Bowie vs. Lady Gaga

Posted by Miserable Retail Slave on June 12, 2011 at 8:14 PM

by Josh

Recently, an old friend of mine and I had a discussion regarding Lady Gaga. She, being one who is a member of the more…alternative styles of living, loves her completely. “Born This Way” is her anthem, and Gaga’s lifestyle, in her eyes, seems to be rivaled only by more recent women who act as they will, a la Bjork.

Me? Well…ask RFP and you’ll get a good idea where I stand.

In our conversation, however, she told me that Lady Gaga is this generation’s David Bowie. And I guess this whole tilted article is my response to THE WORLD.

As you may know, David Bowie is a rock legend. He’s been around since the late 60s, found success in “Space Oddity”, and never looked back. He’s also had many alter egos/rock personas, like Ziggy Stardust, Halloween Jack, The Thin White Duke, and all of them have been sexually and musically ambiguous. Lady Gaga is also sexually ambiguous, and likes to play dress-up with eggs and meat. She’s been shattering records left and right with speed of sale, as well as finding a special niche in the alternative crowds.

One of these things is not like the other.

Both of these artists, at their peak, depended solely on the nature of glam rock in order to spread word of mouth. The major difference here is that Mr. Bowie was a pioneer. He rose during an age of rock where The Beatles were beginning to crumble, and the dominant forces at work were The Rolling Stones, disco, and eventually other soulful renditions of rock n’ roll. Bowie jumped head-first into the sexpot and brought taboo out as a weapon. He created a cult of both devout listeners and personality with each new rendition of himself. In addition, he detached himself from each persona; Bowie was separate from Ziggy was separate from Duke from Jack. Like a metamorphosing butterfly that kept on gaining new bodies and wings, Bowie continually refreshed pop AND rock as we know it today. Not only that, but when Bowie came out as bisexual in 1972 to the public, he later made remarks throughout his career that this declaration was a mistake, largely due to the fact that it took away from his music in a sense and that he was a singer/songwriter before he placed himself in a sexual identity.

Today, Lady Gaga is completely dependent on her allegedly bisexuality in order to sell records. When one listens to her music, you can’t deny that it’s targeting a specific audience. It’s funny, because Gaga claimed in an interview to be the “least judgmental person on Earth”. I would argue that it works only one way. Today, the popular thing isn’t veganism, emo or anything from the previous decade. The popular thing is to be sexually ambiguous. When she arrived on the popularity track, which was as sudden as it was all-encompassing, she already brought a cult following in Haus of Gaga, already made statements for the GLTB community, and slammed it down our throats with catchy beats. As opposed to Bowie letting the tree grow, Gaga brought a tree from her backyard and threw it in the middle of the street. Sounds like a challenge to people who are content with tradition.

I would argue that art of any nature is all about subtlety. Bowie is still critically acclaimed for his ambiguous undertones because he didn’t make any all-encompassing statements about the nature of his work. He just went onstage, got into his personas and characters, and let the final product speak for itself. Lady Gaga, however, postures with her egg palanquins and bubble dresses, all the while making declarative statements about her work and herself. “I've got so many gay fans and they're so loyal to me and they really lifted me up. They'll always stand by me and I'll always stand by them.” “The fact that I'm into women, they're all intimidated by it. It makes them uncomfortable. They're like, 'I don't need to have a threesome. I'm happy with just you.” All of these quotes are from interviews of her. She’s laughing all the way to the bank. But I digress.

And besides, do you think anyone’s going to look back at “Born This Way” and go, “Wow! What a song! This changed my life and defined an era!” Hell no; “Fame”, “Space Oddity”, “China Girl”, “Golden Years”, “Little Wonder”, my personal favorite “As The World Falls Down”, and oh so much more stand the test of time with no accusations of plagiarism from Madonna or Christina Aguilera. And let’s not forget that it was Bowie, not Nirvana, who originally wrote and performed “The Man Who Sold the World”. He has roughly as much dominance on today’s radiowaves as The Beatles, The Stones, Steve Miller Band, Creed, Phil Collins...and what does Lady Gaga have? Bad romance? Poker faces? You don’t hear Poker Face anymore. And one could argue that she simply hasn’t been around as long as Mr. Bowie, but that’s fine. She won’t be around for much longer anyway; another crazy pop icon will dethrone her, and the rest of the world will not miss her. Besides, pop already has their court filled: Michael Jackson, Madonna, Britney Spears, and of course, David Bowie himself.

tl;dr Bowie just goes out there and does it, Lady Gaga is an attention whore, blah blah blah.

Thanks for reading.

~Josh

Lady Gaga Likes Meat...And You Can Too!

Posted by Miserable Retail Slave on September 14, 2010 at 7:34 PM

comments (8)

by Paulie Walnuts

In case you haven’t heard, the freak of nature known as Lady Gaga has captured headlines again. She wore a meat dress to MTV’s Video Music Awards Sunday night. Yes, you read it right – a dress composed of meat.

Upon first hearing this preposterous news, I imagined the whole charade was some sort of political statement against the treatment of animals or something. After all, being vegan is the new fad. With all the celebrities out there trying to take a stand against eating meat, I figured Lady Gaga was hopping on board, too. I mean, the thought of someone wearing clothing composed of raw meat makes me a little nauseous and therefore less likely to eat it.

So of course, because I’m a lemming, I had to check it out. It appears, to me, that the dress only looks like meat. But I wasn’t at the VMAs, so who knows.

But seeing a picture of the freak show wasn’t enough for me. I had to read what she said about it, and she didn’t disappoint: “It is a devastation to me that I know my fans who are gay...feel like they have governmental oppression on them. That's actually why I wore the meat tonight. As you know, I am the most judgment-free human being on the earth. It has many interpretations, but for me this evening, it's ‘If we don't stand up for what we believe in, we don't fight for our rights, pretty soon we're gonna have as much rights as the meat on our bones.’”

So, my interpretation is that she wore a meat dress to advocate those who like “meat” – if you know what I’m talking about *wink, wink.*

Or, perhaps, she wore a meat dress because: A), she’s a freak; and B), she’s an attention whore.

PETA has since issued a G-rated statement to express their mild disapproval: “Meat is the decomposing flesh of a tormented animal who didn't want to die, and after a few hours under the TV lights, it would smell like the rotting flesh it is and likely be crawling in maggots – not too attractive, really.”

Why, I ask, does PETA always try to use scare tactics to get people to join the dark side? Can’t they just let people like Lady Gaga scare people for them?

I know I’ll never look at steak the same way again – not after seeing a nice bloody slab of it draped over her head.