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Podcast: Episode 60: "Selfie steem"

Posted by Miserable Retail Slave on February 16, 2014 at 5:30 PM Comments comments (0)

This week on the podcast: Three stages of drunk/ Tommy and Randy write a Nicholas Sparks movie/ Robert Redford hair/ the concern line/ a Petey Pablo reference/ Lex Luthor is not Lex Luger/ Tommy’s drunk/ the sex life of Ron McDon/ Sweden’s dirty Big Mac tactics/ A woman named Sexy/ Tommy hates the Rock/ the selfie causes the collapse of a country/ Tommy’s romantic or something

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This is the Nicholas Sparks collection that we dubbed "The Widowmaker" and inspired us to create our own theoretical Nicholas Sparks movie. If you so desire, you can order this thing from Amazon by clicking the picture below. Better hurry. It's a limited edition. Probably to reduce the number of deaths through dehydration from women trying to power through all 7 movies and crying themselves dry.

We briefly discussed the brilliant majesty of Robert Redford's impeccable mane. Feast your eyes on this glorious mop of awesome and try to not to let the jealousy overwhelm you.

Just in case you forgot, this is Petey Pablo. Never forget again.

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Just to clarify, the angry man holding the other fella on his shoulders is Lex Luger and is not the character that Jesse Eisenberg is going to playing in the upcoming, tentatively titled Superman vs. Batman movie. You probably already knew that, but Tommy didn't. We serve to inform.

Say you have a girl that you're really into. Suppose you want to take her out for a romantic, candlelit dinner on Valentine's Day. I know nothing about women, yet I still have a great piece of advice for you: that dinner should not be at McDonald's. 

article: Mirror News, "McDonald's launch candlelit dinner complete with DJ Ron"

That is a tasty burger. For 90 kroner, it should be!

article: The Local, "Sweden's Big Macs taunt Norwegians at the border"

article: Yahoo News, "Ohio mom who loathed name can change it to Sexy"

article: Time, "Selfies threaten Thailand's development"

49 "Abs"

Posted by Miserable Retail Slave on July 10, 2013 at 7:40 PM Comments comments (0)

Episode #49: "Abs"

Joey Chestnut/ Yahoo Answers: Pitbulls and warp tours/ The Expendables/ Ivan Drago's piggy back ride/ Rocky villians/ Extinct Ethels and Endangered Ednas/ Kid sells his kidney to clear his video game debt/ Contra Kidney Exchange/ The Buttercream Gang/Favorite Mario suits/BEWBIES/Beer is good for the heart!/ WebMD is not your friend/ I Adolph your plate/ The One Where Rachel Ate McDonald's/ Weekly rants: bluetooth and Fitness magazines

Download Episode 49 here!

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Show notes: 

This is the Buttercream Gang

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The Super Mario Tanooki suit

Tommy will give his kidney for this: 


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48 "H2Oh, Hell No"

Posted by Miserable Retail Slave on June 13, 2013 at 4:55 PM Comments comments (0)

This week on the show: we provide facts/ discuss a squirrel rebellion/ spirit animals/ From Yahweh to Yahoo/ The Toast Store/ Goodburger/ tattoos on the lower back = promiscuous?/ bottled water for women/ jobs for pretty people/ $20,000 worth of shrimp/ Eyebrow transplants/ the problem with ET

Download Episode #48: "H2Oh, Hell No" right here!


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When Squirrels Attack!


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Power animals

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This would play in the toast store, nonstop, on a loop.

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Goodburger was actually a thing, kids!

40. The Danza

Posted by Miserable Retail Slave on March 12, 2013 at 6:50 PM Comments comments (0)

This week: Jumping the shark/ The Fonz is Mathew McCaonaughey/ Stallone vs. The Danza/ Tommy talks about The Bachelor and Bones/ Clearing your history/ Headstone sponsorship/ Farmer Death/ Living to be 150/ A boy named Rover/ the only 30 year old teenager in America/ Pee Pants/ Random movie chat/ Captain Spork/ Robin dies/ Krang/ Jennifer Love-Hewitt's $5 million boobs/ Donkey Kong for feminists

Download episode #40 here!

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The Fonz jumps the shark.

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Yes they do.

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Too bad Iron Will didn't have these Pee Pants.

The Huffington Post

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Church won't allow headstone with NASCAR, Colts logos on it.

Daily Mail: New drug being developed that could let people live to be 150.

Arizona, Indiana, and Utah all have official state guns. Wikipedia.

The people decided to kill Robin back in the day. Here's the ad I was talking about.

RIP old Robin and new Robin

Krang. "Feminist hero dad hacks Donkey Kong for daughter"

39. "Gang of Thongs"

Posted by Miserable Retail Slave on March 10, 2013 at 11:05 PM Comments comments (0)

This week: The Time Tommy Almost Met Bob Seger/ National Cereal Day and cereal maps/ Tommy appreciates milk/ Smells Like Old Spice/ Lance Armstrong causes air pollution/ the myth of the Beer Goggles/ Will Smith's thug life/ Gun crotch/ Kissin' Octopi/ the hellwaters of Florida/, USA/ In the jungle, the mighty jungle/ Jesus up/ Cow licking/ Thong Bandit/ Yahoo answers/ Rapefruit/ Valentina

Download episode #39 here!

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Tommy had always wanted to meet Bob Seger. And when he got the chance...he chose to say nothing to him. Epic. Fail.

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The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Causing school districts to be put on lockdown.

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Cow lickin'.

Is this the Thong Bandit?

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Rapefruit. It's...good for you?

38. "Ivan Ski Mask and Guam DeLuise"

Posted by Miserable Retail Slave on March 3, 2013 at 11:45 AM Comments comments (0)

Buffalo head/ booty shakin'/ United States of Amammary/ MC Hammer rape whistle/ Google Glass/ the ultimate Facebook stalking tool/ Wearing Flippy Floppies with a Flippy Phlone/ Assault burrito/ Bullet in the oven/ Ski mask talk/ Burrito abuse/ Dead mice dropped on Guam/ One Million Moms hate talking pigs/ Tommy vetoes Randy's life/ Charlotte's Web talk/ Tommy loved New Kids on the Block/ Tommy and the Walrus doing the Locomotion/ Stolen porn alert

Download Episode #38 here!

Leave a review on iTunes here!

MC Hammer was arrested and talked about it on Twitter. I'm sure he was arrested for driving around town, blaring this at full volume.

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Google Glass. Surf the Internet at all possible times.

Safest place to store your bullets? Believe it or not, that place isn't the oven. 

" St Petersburg woman injured after bullet left inside oven explodes"

Fighting the war on snakes. 

"NPR: Dead Mice are going to be dropped on Guam from Helicopters (Really)"

The organization, One Million Moms, hates this commercial with Maxwell the Geico pig. Kids just might get the wrong idea. smh.

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37. Undergarment Face

Posted by Miserable Retail Slave on February 22, 2013 at 4:55 PM Comments comments (0)

2nd episode this week. A quick and dirty one. Dumbo got drunk/ Deleting Myspace/ The politics of Myspace/ Facebook after death/ Panty Face/ Japan's weirdest hero/ Hentai Kamen/ Ratbot the bully

Download Episode #37 here!

Leave us a review on iTunes! 

Intro: "Mickey Maos" by Halloween

That one time that Dumbo got, like, so totally wasted. 

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Kotaku - "Blame Japan's Perverted Superhero for This Panty Insanity"

This is Hentai Kamen. The super hero who gets super pervert powers for wearing women's underwear on his head. Yep.

He's also the subject of a live action motion picture coming soon to theaters in Japan. "Panty bless you," indeed.

Just for further evidence that this is an actual thing that exists in the world, here is the trailer for that movie.

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#36 "Last Friday in Norway"

Posted by Miserable Retail Slave on February 19, 2013 at 9:20 PM Comments comments (0)

The buns are the ham/ Asteroids/ Adam Levine's zits/ Photgraph of S8er Boi/ Iceland wants to ban all the fun/ Guppies like hotties/ Fish stoned on pill pollution/ Skeletor Jones/ Woman has the same song on repeat in her head for 3 years/ The Climb vs. Purple Rain/ Mississippi abolishes slavery/ Florida man bites a police car/ Krispy Kreme chase/ Fart studies/ Fanta's tasty ad/ Rep Sue McClurkin thinks babies are organs/ Lisa Turtle/ Norway's version of TGIF/ Keeping it Kardashian-free/ the replacement stripper

Intro: "Mickey Maos" by Halloween

Adam Levine had zits! I hope he writes a ballad about it!

Iceland wants to ban Internet porn. A nation full of teenage boys mourns...

Mail Online: "Iceland's bid to ban web porn"

A British woman has had the same song stuck in her head for 3 years. Imagine this, on repeat, for 3 years straight. How has this woman not gone insane?

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This is a real scientific study on farts. However, "The Theory of Whoever Smelt It, Dealt It" is not discussed.

Fanta's edible, tasty ad. Is it weird to eat chemically enhanced paper that tastes like oranges? I won't judge.

Rep. Mary Sue McClurkin of Alabama thinks a baby is the largest organ in a woman's body. Someone needs to give her a biology lesson.

#33 "The Burt Ward"

Posted by Miserable Retail Slave on February 17, 2013 at 4:45 PM Comments comments (0)

This week, we pick our favorite '80s vehicle from pop culture and discuss the politics of Back to the Future. We lament the loss of Ecto Cooler. Planet Homebuddies, a Chinese adaptation of "Friends." An iPhone app that measures condom size. The German Cookie Monster/Robin Hood hybrid. Flamey, the worst mascot ever. Robotic tails for humans. Hitler's toilet. A 4th grade science project with cocaine. Another Armstrong cheated. Eating cat hair.

Download #33 here!

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The Chinese love "Friends." So much so that they are creating their own version called "Planet Homebuddies." Could that title be any more ridiculous?

A new iPhone app measures the size of your member so that you can find a condom that fits perfectly. Just don't use it in the middle of the store. That might be frowned upon. 

The Huffington Post, "Condom size iPhone app"

The worst mascot in the history of the world: Flamey, the burn ward mascot. Designed to make kids on the burn ward feel better about themselves. What?

The Huffington Post, "Flamey, the Burn Ward Mascot"

"S" is for "stealing," it's good enough for me. A German theif steals a golden cookie, dresses up like Cookie Monster, and makes demands.

#34 "More Soda Popinski, Less Ivan Drago"

Posted by Miserable Retail Slave on February 17, 2013 at 4:05 PM Comments comments (0)

This week: The holy angel of Old Spice/ God is Rain Man/ .300 batting average/ Kai, the hatchet wielding hitchhiker/ Love Gone Wild/ Horseman baby/ The Woman with the Face tattoo/ Monopoly controversy/ Flipper the cat/ Amusement park where Osama bin Laden was killed/ the Intimacy dress/ Vodka monument/ Ugly Wednesdays/ the Peanut Butter Podcast/ Interrupting Psychologist/ Kristin Wiig Rage/ Breastaurants/ Aporkalypse

Download #34 here!

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We take on the big issues. Like does God really care about your favorite sporting team? Maybe he's a gambler. Ray Lewis, the holy angel of Old Spice, seems to think God likes him a bunch.

Kai, the hitchhiker is the latest internet smash...smash....suh-mash.

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Girlfriend piss you off? Go have sex with the neighbor's horse. And maybe have a horseman baby. That'll show her!

The Smoking Gun "I Was Trying to Make the Horse Have a Baby"

The first thing you should do when you meet someone for the first time is get their name tattooed on your face in big, gothic letters. Just some advice.

New York Daily News, "Stupid Love? Or Just Stupid? Russian woman lets new tattoo artist boyfriend ink his name on her face 24 hours after first meeting"

The Intimacy 2.0 dress vanishes based on how aroused you are. This is a thing that exists in the world.

The Huffington Post, "Intimacy 2.0"

Monopoly game piece controversy! The cat won! Even over a robot. A robot with a mustache, no less! Unforgiveable.

An amusement park is being built in the town where Osama bin Laden was killed. The owners of the park say that it has nothing to do with it being the spot where a notorious terrorist leader was killed. I'm sure it's all coincidence.

International Business Times story

A famous Russian monument to vodka has toppled. When is America going to get a famous Bud Light monument?